Allies can have many different roles supporting people in a violence intervention. Some may be good at supporting the person who has been hurt. Allies can also support each other. It’s important to think about whether there is someone who can support the person doing harm.
If you are an ally, think about:
- Who you want to build a team with
- How you can build a culture that you want to stay involved with
- How you can avoid bringing in people who don’t want to work as a team.
About the person harmed
A good intervention will support the person harmed. As interventions get complex and long, you might start to neglect them and focus on the person who caused harm, or to rely so much on them that they are carrying the burden of the intervention. Some allies may at times resent or blame the person harmed for how long and hard the intervention is.
Support the person harmed through the whole process. Interventions are not always healing. The person harmed may feel raw and hurt. It is important to have allies who not only take care of tasks, but are also warm and understanding.
About the person causing harm
Getting the right allies for the person doing harm is important. Allies are people who will not excuse violence, feel sorry for the person doing harm, and see ‘their side of the story’. They are also not there to humiliate and punish the person doing harm to make sure that ‘justice is done’. Their role is to support accountability—the person’s ability to recognise, end and take responsibility for their violence.
About the facilitator
This toolkit works best with a facilitator. They may be a friend, whanaunga or community member. They may be a helpful professional or someone working in an organisation who is willing to work with the values and approach behind this model.
This is a unique approach to dealing with violence and may be unfamiliar to people used to working with violence. It may even be against their policies. Your group can share this website with people who could be a facilitator and see if they are comfortable with this approach.